IT'S JAPAN'S FAULT!!!!

A great article in the Chosun Ilbo today ‘Superbacteria’ in Korea Came From Japan," according to Korean scientist and cried the headline. So it's definitely Japan's fault. A single country. The Japanese are always doing bad things to Korea.

Oh, wait. What's that?

"In the process of the research, we found that the MRSA issue caused by the abuse of antibiotics is never a matter of a single country,” Ko said. “So we need international cooperation to handle the issue of antibiotic abuse."

Never let the truth, facts, or reality get in the way of a headline.

A new post

After many weeks a way we've returned to Korea to spread the gospel.

There have been a few stories in recent days that have caught our attention, along with one giant mural we saw inn Daejeon a few days ago.

The first story that embodies everything that makes us laugh about Korea, while at the same time shake our heads both in fear and dismay comes from the Chosun Ilbo. The headline was what caught our attention, since it said that applications for overseas military service were pouring in, and the specific example was to go to Iraq. The story explains that the money is far above what they would make by staying in Korea. They also go into the challenges of overseas postings.

But, and I say this honestly, the 'real' story here is actually found in the last paragraph:

The spokesman said soldiers who want to serve with overseas units must get their parents' consent in advance. During the early recruitment process for the Zaytun Unit, some soldiers were recruited but had to drop out because they failed to get their parents' consent, he added.

And this is what makes it a TiK story. Men. Adults. Who can vote. Drink. Drive. Men (and women) who are trained to kill, and who are entrusted to go into battle, defend their country etc. These men have to 'get their parent's permission'. I honestly shake my head in wonder at these people...

Then there's this article which shows one of the major, MAJOR problems in this country. The issues of pardons is one I don't like, because if you need to issue pardons there is something wrong with the system. And to pardon some people who have lost their jobs over minor, minor things is one thing, but to issue 341,864 pardons shows the system is totally fucked up. And that's over 340 thousand pardons IN A SINGLE YEAR!

And the number is only the start of what's wrong here. The other issue is who gets pardons:

Among the 74 people in the economic sector receiving pardons were Chung Mong-koo, the chairman of Hyundai Motor Co., Chey Tae-won, chairman of SK Group, and Kim Seung-youn, chairman of Hanwha Group.

The three tycoons were handed suspended prison terms by judges in recent years for embezzlement, accounting fraud and assault, respectively. Despite their convictions, all three have remained active in the boardroom.

The fact that they committed crimes, received suspended sentences, and continued to serve on boards is, again, totally fucked up. The fact they received pardons is even crazier.

And perhaps the most disturbing element of all:

Also among high-profile figures pardoned was Kwon Young-hae, a former South Korean spy chief.

Kwon was found guilty of plotting to destroy the 1997 election campaign of former dissident Kim Dae-jung. Kim was elected and served a five-year term.

A man who literally committed treason by trying to undermine the country's democracy gets a pardon. The sheer number likely has something to do with trying to gloss over some of the more controversial pardons, but the pardons that were issued to these specific people shows that there are major problems in Korean society that need to be rectified.

And these pardons, both in the number and for who received them made me think about something. Thousands upon thousands of people will take to the streets in protest day after day over completely insane fears over american beef, and when corrupt and criminal businessmen receive pardons, and this many pardons are issued, they do nothing. More importantly came this story about an arrest.

One of the organizers of the insanely stupid beef protests is getting arrested. MONTHS after the protests started, and while they were apparently illegal the entire time, they are arresting him NOW. Again, this type of act undermines democracy in a way that is very, very serious. As much as I disagreed with the protests and thought they made Koreans look like complete and total idiots on the world stage, this arrest is wrong on many, many levels, and in many, many ways.

But all of these issues can be explained away by reading THIS article. Delusional nationalism explains so much in this country that it's scary. That said, I wonder if they think these "secrets to their success" also explain why they:

1. Koreans work the longest hours for less money

2. Why Korea has the third largest wage gap in the OECD

3. Korea's gender wage gap is the biggest in the OECD

4. Korea's educated job rate ranks low in the OECD

5. Korea has the sixth highest inflation in the OECD

and

6. Korean producer price growth is the second highest in the OECD

The lesson to learn from this is that as long as you are 'fighting' and/or 'sparkling', all of your nation's problems don't need to be addressed.

One final TiK lesson. Not only does nationalism make all your problems meaningless, but spelling things correctly doesn't matter either... I leave you with this:

When all else fails........

you turn to TiK madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So, as the conservative president (LMB) watches his landslide victory in both the presidential and National Assembly elections dissolve into a near coup d'etat (by High School Students no less) he seems to have turned to the old standby from the liberal days, BLAME JAPAN!

What better way to get the stupid masses off your back over misjudgements on US beef, FTA's, USFK policy, and a crazy Jesus-told-me-to-do-it canal plan then by lighting them up with Dokdo! What is Dokdo? Two crappy islets (yes islets, not even islands) that both Korea and Japan claim as their own. In this crazy Asian grudgematch, Korea holds all the cards since their military forces occupy the islets and there is no way (short of a war) that they would give them up.

So why even bring up Dokdo? Well the Japanese conservative nuts bring it up in Japan and then oppertunitistic leaders in Korea use it to rally the masses against the evil "Japs". But does the government really care about what some silly people say about the islets?

No, of course not. But now all the "Korean thinkers" have stopped worrying about the failing economy, the US Beef deal, the dead S.Korean tourist, the fact that LMB has broken everyone, EVERYONE, of his election promises in under 200 days in office.

Ahhhhhhhh smell that, its rampent, xenophobic nationalism mixed with piss-poor personal judgement. That's TiK!

Go here for some reads on this developing bullsh*t non-story:

http://english.chosun.com/

http://www.koreaherald.co.kr/

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/index.asp

Changes on the way

To the readers of this blog. Changes will be coming and a new blog will be formed from this one by August 20th.

The prevailing themes of this blog will be maintained, just expanded in scope.

This blog will likely be inactive from July 18th to August 20th, but check back just in case.

Over and out.

Accountability

Accountability is a buzz word in politics that gets thrown around. It's a word and an idea that needs to be developed in Korea on a level that is difficult to imagine. The education system is ripe with examples of no accountability, and Korean society at large is the best example whereby every problem Korea has is someone else's fault, with the normal scapegoats being Japan, America and sometimes China. I remember one distinct conversation I had with the trainer at my gym who was making perfection sense describing many of Korea's many problems in very clear terms. And then he explained the reason for these problems was that when Japan occupied Korea they taught Koreans only bad ways of doing things, and when they left they took all the good things with them and left only the bad...

So in honor of accontability, I give you this story from the Ilbo

In it it explains that web portals have been fined for online defamation. The portals played a role based on what the story explains, but the key issue missing is personal accountability. It says that the mother of the girl played a role, but mentions no fines against her. It mentions that many people played a role in spreading the info about him, and they did not get fined either. And perhaps most important of all, it doesn't say that the claims were untrue, only that they were damaging.

Accountability is lacking all around with this incident, from the law, to those involved in the portals, right down to the guy who left his pregnant girlfriend, who clearly wasn't being accountable for his actions/sperm.

Canada Day Special!!!

Sorry for being gone so long, but not much new has been happening here. The last month has been all about beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, etc etc etc etc.

But, with the third oil shock upon us and the very fabric of our world (possibly) coming apart I thought I would highlight the difference between the Taiwanese way and the TiK way.

In this corner the Taiwanese plan of higher prices and rebate incentives to reduce power consumption:

http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/front/archives/2008/07/01/2003416235

And in this corner, TiK plan of cutting taxes, drilling more, opening strategic reserves and subsidising prices to "protect" Koreans. This plan looks like it was written by Dick Cheney and the CEO of Exxon:

http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200806/200806300009.html

Which one will work in reducing energy consumption, hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

TiK!

Man, you have a huge.....

You know, my family always asks me what living in South Korea is like. My response is always the same, you know North Korea? Think of that mentality but run by Americans!



So here is a double play of TiK!



1st: http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/opinon/2008/06/160_25545.html



This quote sums up the TiKness of it all:



" Those looking for symbolism needn't look far. An attempt by Kim II-sung to visualize his own power? The concrete embodiment of Juche ideology? The ultimate middle-finger to the rest of the world? North Korea's prolonged failure to finish it undermines everything it stands for, whatever exactly that may be."



While the Western author avoids saying it, this is a classic TiK penis envy story. Most political decisions, military decisions, business decisions, etc etc seem to have an underlying phallic element. Whether its the tallest flagpole in the world (North Korea), the tallest building in Asia (the 63 Building in Seoul for a year), to the new rush of Korean cities building super skyscrapers (see Incheon and Lotte), the penis is never far from the minds of the Korean decision makers, especially when comparing it American, Japanese and Chinese wangs!



#2 http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200806/200806100018.html



This one is a classic TiKer cause it has penis envy (versus Australia and Japan, in this case) and the Janus-like desperation for love from America despite hating everything about there "control" over Korea. And the best part is, it seems like it just might be a vocabulary/diplomatic language cockup. Then again, it might be the evil Megooks subtly poking Korea for the county's almost complete failure to live up to its international obligations.



Hmm, lets let the crazy netizens sort it all out! TiK!

Do they want us to change their diapers too?

Wow! Just, WOW!

I saw the headline and clicked to check out the story. And I hadn't finished the first paragraph before the oh my god alarm started to sound.

The offending passage: U.S. Ambassador to Korea Alexander Vershbow has weighed into the beef controversy, sparking an outcry with what critics say was a display of rudeness and arrogance.

Rudeness? Arrogance? These are the same people who spit everywhere, smash into each other as they walk, don't wait for people to get off the subway/elevator before barging forward etc, saying this is arrogance. FUBAR!

Now you might be asking what possibly could have prompted the Koreans to react this way. Here's the offending comment:

After meeting with Foreign Minister Yu Myung-hwan on Tuesday, Vershbow had said, "I can't deny that we're disappointed" at the Korean government's decision to delay U.S. beef imports. "We hope Koreans will begin to learn more about the science and about the facts of American beef." He also rejected reopening beef talks saying, "We don't see any need for re-negotiation of the agreement."

So, what is the offending comment?

A) Americans are disappointed a key export is still being held up costing them hundreds of millions of dollars--- I would say that this is something that's easy to see why they'd be disappointed over.

B) They want Koreans to learn the facts and science about something.--- How dare they! Question the intelligence of a people who elected a man who wants to build a massive canal down the center of the entire country. Koreans clearly know what's what.

C) no renegotiation is needed.--- If the Koreans are allowed to scream, yell and cry about the need to renegotiate, surely an American official is permitted to calmly and coherent state their view that no renegotiation is needed.

To sum up:

rude= calmly stating your opinion which is supported by science, facts and international trade regulations.

Not rude= repeatedly violating a trade agreement. Allowing citizens to hold overtly xenophobic , out of control demonstrations based on completely inaccurate information. To openly disrespect a country that is the only reason Korea even has freedom and isn't a property of Japan or run by communist, and who lost thousands of lives making it so and who have spent billions upon billions of dollars in securing this freedom.

I say let the soldiers leave, the military aid stop and Congress start passing similar measures to what Korea has in place. See what happens then.

These people are nothing more than infants and need to grow up.

If you lived here you wouldn't need to see these lists to know.

So two new rankings came out today and I just had to blog the obvious.

First: Korea Ranks Among Worst in Traffic Fatality Rate

http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200806/200806040024.html

Now anyone who has ever been here knows that the driving in Korea is probably the worst outside the 3rd world (at least they have an excuse). Combine a complete lack of consideration for other human beings ("Han" "Juche" "Jung" whatever the hell you wanna call it) with the complete lack of peripheral vision, mix in a little scooter on the sidewalk and students who have never been taught to look both ways before they cross and you have a recipe to reach the bottom of this great list!

Second: Korea Ranks Near Bottom in English Exam

http://english.chosun.com/w21data/html/news/200806/200806040020.html

This is one is a hat tip to all you teachers out there who go to work everyday and pull your hair out struggling to get the students to say something other than "I'm fine thank you and you?"


Now, why is this a TiK post?

Well being in touch with your inner TiK means 2 things:

1) Loving lists, any lists that rank your country with every other country in the world. Since no one on planet Earth really cares about Korea (except Koreans of course) its important to have lists to explain to your foreign friends how great the country is. If the list is bad you would never mention, but you still need to have a list at least once a day in a major daily!

2) Despite the fact that list offers solutions to the problems (go visit the countries at the top and adopt their policies!!!) Koreans will never adopt those strategies, cause let's face it, the reason we are on the bottom is 'cause the OECD just "doesn't understand Korean culture"!

Time for an update

We're still getting things set-up with the blog, and so updates and readership go up and down.

But this week saw two great TiK stories that speak to the essence of this country too well to pass up.

TiK 1: Did you know that Hyundai is the greatest car company in the world??? Did you???

For any foreigner who has visited Korea one of the first things you notice is that maybe 80 percent of the cars here are Hyundai or KIA, with 19% percent of the remaining 20 being Daewoo (numbers have been pulled out of the author's buttocks, and are not to be cited). Putting it in context, Korea is one of the only places on the planet where driving a Chrysler is a thing of distinction.... positive distinction.

So when this story popped up on the Chosun Ilbo I had to shake my head. At a time when there are 'candlelight vigils' (what a joke) over American beef, the South Korean people are once again being screwed by their own corporations. In this case it's Hyundai. Corporations here are subsidized and protected to a point that it's difficult to describe, and what often happens is that Koreans pay more for Korean made goods than anyone else in the world. Digital cameras were my first encounter with this phenomena, but the linked story shows yet another example.

I should say that if I were a Korean I would be outraged and protesting, not over beef, but over corporations screwing me. The story goes to great lengths to justify and rationalize the price difference, but anyone with a brain can see through it. I recently had a CEO of a Korean electronics company tell me about what a great car he just bought, the Hyundai Genesis, and how it was going to rock the US market because it was so good.

TiK story number 2: Once again thanks to the Chosun Ilbo, though many sources reported on this story. They should have been embarrassed to report it as is, but, again, TiK. The story is on the opening of a theme park to promote the 'Korean wave that is sweeping Asia.' Korean pop music, movies and TV shows are apparently sweeping Asia according to Koreans. When you tell other Asians about this they look at you like you're crazy.

And maybe the best example of that comes with this story. The wave is apparently so big and powerful that it merits a theme park. And what mega-wave Korean star did they choose for the opening of the park and to promote it? Jackie Chan.

If you weren't aware that Jackie Chan was part of the Korean wave, you're not alone. It says a lot when your big claims of dominating Asian pop culture can't even produce a star big enough to launch your own theme park.

Up next, the British are announcing a park to promote brit rock and pop. The spokesperson: Beyonce.

It's not an anti-US protest, its an anti, anti, anti US protest!

http://english.donga.com/srv/service.php3?biid=2008052149918

Well, this story is just full of TiK goodies. I have been loath to blog about the current beef brou-ha-ha just because its such a BS story mostly fueled by rumours and outright lies.

However this one deserves some TiK mention.

Like this quote: "“The World Organization for Animal Health (OIE) standard (which serves as the standard for negotiations) is just a recommendation, rather than an absolute standard. Negotiations should be based on the standards that are actually used for American consumers.”

He's so right, the standard isn't an absolute standard, just an international one. Phew! Glad that was cleared up.

My favorite (a Korean politician, from the opposition no less, trying to tell America how to protect its own citizens): “As a key customer of U.S beef, Korea should more firmly ask the U.S. to strengthen its domestic preventative measures against mad cow disease, which would also benefit U.S. citizens."

I mean thank god the country that hasn't mastered Hep A and B or TB is there to guide the rest of the world in public health and safety.

And this classic, an example of TiK amnesia (whereby a Korean does one thing then completley changes his policy once he figures out it might get him ahead): “Although the Grand National Party is the dominant party in the National Assembly, it would be difficult for them to ratify it because most Koreans are against it.”

The quote is from a memeber of the opposition party who (last year as the party in power) negotiated the friggin' thing in the first place.

And one final note on the hypocrisy of it all. Imagine if thousands of Americans took to the streets to protest Hyundai cars? What do you think the Korean reaction would be? I'll give you one guess.

Ahhh spring is in the air (and a little TiK)!

TiK means changing your mind and never saying you're sorry!

Woke up to this today:

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/05/117_24409.html


So why is this a classic TiK story?


Well, it was only 2months ago that Hogwon owners were decrying the new E2 regulations because it meant thousands of teachers were excluded due to past criminal convictions (including misdemeanors ), smoking pot, poor health, their inability to visit an embassy in their home country, etc etc etc. These new regs were in direct response to the CPN story. The hogwon owners even wanted to extend the E2 to countries like Pakistan and Singapore (never underestimate the power of greed to overcome racism, even in the land of pure blood!).

But now, oh the horror, the government looking to other ESL crazy countries (i.e Japan, Taiwan) for teacher shortage solutions has come up with allowing us to move between jobs. Thereby allowing us to work at multiple locations. Of course this would mean the pimps, sorry, the hogwon owners couldn't treat us like slaves.

And, oh my god, the government will let foriegn teachers form and join a union!!!!! You mean treat us like EVERY OTHER segment of the Korean population. Well, that will just kill English education in this country, because we all know that only Hogwon owners have the best interests of their students at heart!

Monday update

Today was a very TiK day in the Korean media.

1. This article was the top searched for article on the Chosun Ilbo website, despite it being from 3 years ago. I'm not saying bad parenting and child neglect don't happen elsewhere, but rather I'm posting it because this case of child neglect is 100% TiK.

2. This article reports that prices in major Korean cities are 20% higher than in New York City. One reason it cites is housing costs, which is certainly true, but the failure to mention massive protectionism is another element of TiK.

3. From the same article as linked to above, another element of TiK: "Korea ranked 52nd in gender equality, showing just how far the country still has to go to improve treatment of women." The fact that it's acknowledged is nice to see, the fact that nothing will get done about it despite the acknowledgement is par for the course.

4. All you really need to read in this article is the first paragraph: "Korea ranked high among world countries in higher education achievement but near the bottom in quality."

5. Life would be easier if they just became vegetarians.  I say this based on the resumption of reporting on US Beef and now the bird flu as well. On the beef front there were two stories, including this one. In this wonderful tale, children are being exploited to propagate lies. The fact that there have been 'many nights of candlelit vigils' is at the same time disturbing that it can draw that kind of protest, as well as nice to see that non-violent protests can still take place in the world. And this article highlights the delusional arguments and positions that are still being thrown around and adopted in the beef 'debate' (I loathe to call it a debate). Lastly there's the massive numbers of chickens, urm, I mean Koreans, who are refusing to eat chicken because of bird flu scares. 

Korea: The Most, Freeesty Economic Zone in the Northeast Asian Hub of IT!!!

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/biz/2008/05/123_24115.html


So this is is a TiK story for the following reasons:

a) Korea pretends to be business friendly but refuses to allow the most important business tool in the 21st century (aside from maybe the notebook) because its not made by Koreans.

b) Korea only changes its blatantly xenophobic and closed trade policies when its going to lose face (this story) or its getting a quid pro quo (see US beef).

c) The article tries to justify protectionism by claiming that Koreans wouldn't use the product because they already have access to a better "Korean way" (i.e. PC rooms).

But to be fair a hat tip to the spineless Canadian government for not forcing the issue and demanding a fair trade policy much to the detriment of its own industry!

I say send the pills over by the cargo container

From the Chosun Ilbo: "'I'd rather swallow potassium cyanide than eat American beef' has persuasive powers in their motherland."

If I were the head of the American beef industry I'd be contacting pharmaceutical companies telling them about the high demand for potassium cyanide pills in Korea. I'd also be lobbying the Bush administration to include potassium cyanide pills in the FTA! Send them over by the cargo container!

For those not familiar with the on-going American beef will kill us all campaign in Korea, here's a bit of a primer:

Korea used to be one of the biggest importers of American beef in the world. They were cow crazy for cheap American beef which allowed even the humblest factory worker to eat like an American. Then mad cow struck and the Koreans (along with Japan and most of the rest of the world) closed their doors to the product. Now the UN agency in charge of global food safety has deemed American beef safe again for export and consumption. The problem now is the fact that Korean farmers have been charging 4.5 times as much as their American competition for beef. So the lefty unions, student groups and politicians have used the notion of food safety as a smokescreen for economic protectionism and xenophobia. But the Democratically controlled US Congress has demanded beef exports resume before it will even consider ratifying the KORUS FTA.

One of the things I've heard countless Canadians say is that this is nothing more than what goes around comes around for the American beef industry, since they 'did the same thing to us', according to the aforementioned Canadians. Well, no, the American beef industry did nothing close to Canada what the Koreans are saying about American beef.

On top of the cyanide lunacy there are teacher's unions: "The North Chungcheong Province chapter of the Korean Teachers and Education Workers' Union posted on its Internet homepage materials its member teachers can use to get students to oppose the import of U.S. beef."

The first news story quiz

http://www.koreatimes.co.kr/www/news/nation/2008/04/117_23084.html

So there's the link to what is undoubtedly a TIK story.  For those of you unfamiliar with what TIK means, it's a reference drawn from the movie Blood Diamond. In the movie two of the characters say, "TIA: This Is Africa."  It's a form of explanation and acceptance, since if you dwell on issues and events you'll go nuts.  Same thing applies to TIK.

This is very much a TIK story.

Here's this issues's quiz question:

This is a TIK story because,

A) the principal was sexually harassing a student
B) the principal received only a minor fine for the incident
C) the principal was apparently NOT fired for the incident
D) the principal was drunk
E) a law Korea tried to enact is totally non-functional and proving ineffective
F) all of the above


First person to 10 pts will get a prize!

Welcome to Korea

Welcome to Korea.  If you're currently standing in line to pass through immigration at Incheon international airport please be advised of the following:

A) if you have dark skin please go over into the holding room

B) if you are a Muslim please go over into the holding room

C) if you are anything but white or Korean, please go over to the holding room

Now that you have cleared immigration you can learn to enjoy Korean 'culture' at its finest, and this blog aims to bring you only the finest elements of Korean culture.

Prepare to open your mind to events, policies and news coverage that you may simply 'not understand'.